Harkness Infinity - Sesson 17 - Light and Darkness.

The elves are free. We have struck hard at Cython this night.

Not only did we free the pink elves, the nymph... we also freed the high elves, and beyond that... all of Liantress.

Not without cost, however... Avendra Enoreth fell by the hand of the elf king. I have written a short eulogy to honor her, and I will share it with my team. Esper slew him afterward.

And became the king of the elves. We have also learned that the kyth are a lost breed of elves, and in this... I reaffirm my loyalty to Esper. As a teamate and brother.

...

Before this, we spent some time in the fairy realm. I made a few deals probably at future consequence... I have a sinking feeling that in my long years this will come back to haunt me someday. It was for knowledge.

I have a weakness for family. I met my grandfather on my father's side... Immediately I lost interest save for the fact that I know not how he rules his realm. Everyone there was scared of him, and for that matter, I as well. Someday I will deal with him. I have other pressing matters. He did however make an offer, which I promptly refused. One realm is enough for him to cause fear. One day hopefully I will able to stop this. The only time I want the name Chretien Harkness to symbolize fear, is in the heart of evil beings.

...

Akuma was, as always... amazing. Esper showed alot of heart tonight. Fervor unselfishly probably saved my life a few times. He is never hesitant to do so. He will dive in front of me with that shield of his without even a thought. For this I am thankful.

...

When we were fighting the elves, my heart wasn't into it. These elves were not evil... they were just doing their job, serving their king. I cannot fault them for this, and as we learned later... a good part of the kingdom was under some kind of control.

I plan on freeing their souls from my armor as soon as I get the chance. I wish them to join their bretheren in the afterlife. I have hope they will not bear me ill will, as they can now see it was for the greater good. The greater good of their people.

As Elijah said: "Go in peace"

...

The Xion women helped in the freeing of the pink elves. This should be mentioned...

They knew of my grandfather... My mother's father.

The women also worshipped Xenos. It was unsettling to see the statue of him there in their city... glaring at me. As if from the afterlife.

They insist whatever was given to me by him was a great gift. I already have a higher sensitivity to the powers of the mind... is it from this?

If it is a great gift, will I deserve it? I think sometimes I am too hard on myself.

I see all of the evil I have slain, all the good I have done. My paladin ways tend to make me think in that order.

The crucifer I slew still haunts me... as he will always. Everyone else may be over it to some degree, but that does not change the fact that I murdered a good person in cold blood.

Regardless if I didn't mean it, and my intentions were good... He is still dead.

And, no matter how much I do, no matter how many people I may save in the course of my life... And in service of the forty, he will still be dead. It will still be murder.

I don't even know his name. Part of me wants to know... but I don't think I could bear the weight of knowing his family name. I had no family to go home to. Had it been me killed no one would have missed me.

I just wish I could say to him. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Know that what I do, is to somehow make up for your loss. Know that it will never be good enough.

It has been years now, since that day. I think about him all the time. Maybe soon I will ask the teachers if there is something I can do. Maybe for his family or something... I know not.

They will probably tell me to live, and do what I do. To save lives.

I will, but it will never be good enough.

~chretien harkness

Harkness Infinity - Session 16 - Pledges.

Patience, Chretien

Fear... Cython feared what happened in Sire. That or his mission was accomplished. Inside, I am screaming for action. We repelled him at Sire... Is this war just going to be that? Reaction? Do we have to wait for another Domme to do anything?

We have no army, true... We have a strike force. A well trained strike force, growing in power by the day. Why can we not locate Cython and strike him down? What are we wating for? Sometimes I could... patience, Chretien.

The team is so amazing... With Akuma and Fervor recently recieving great items of power... We have might.

Fervor is the hero I can never be. It is an honor for him to be invited into the White Guard after this is all over. I have no such place to go.

In the battle, I followed him unquestionably. He is our leader, after all. The standard bearer... something I know was not meant to be for myself. Fervor - would follow you into the 8 gates of hell, if you so wished. Just to make sure that you are safe, or at least die by your side.

My respect for Akuma is eternal and limitless now. He took all that was placed upon him in stride. Finding out he was the son of an avatar, Anzen, receiving the pledge, capturing Baelin, the boon... He is trully blessed. Not BLESS-ED, but blessed. So much to place upon one being. I doubt I could have done the same, as I rely to much upon emotions... I admire his control. I would have been lost.

I was in awe watching Akuma use the pledge. His technique and perfection match that of the sword. The weapons itself is truly perfection, and I am thankful to have him at my side.

Happy am I for Akuma. I admire Anzen greatly... It is good to know there can be light still, in this coming darkness. To find love in war. This is what we are fighting for.

In Harem - the Paladins were beautiful. Perhaps some small part of me envies Fervor and Akuma. They have companionship...

I do not have much love in my life... that of my team, and my mother... The rest is hate.

As Akuma walks the path of Life and Death, I walk the path of love and hate. Just as he turns one into the other and back again... I do the same in my own way.

I hate loving, and love hating.

For, if anything were to happen to my loved ones... I don't want to talk about it.

I can't imagine losing anyone ever again... Sometimes it is just so hard.

Harkness Infinity - Session 13 - Rookes and Crucifers

Lucid...

What was I thinking? How could I be with her... and Why? Already with time to reflect, I know not why I chose her... There is something about her, true... I feel as though she fits into my future... but I know not why yet. Why do I insist on feeling that I have some sort of connection to her?

Patience. Chretien you cannot rush the future... Let it happen as it may.

...
The Caste.

I have searched long and hard to be a part of something. I have never had a "Family" so to speak... and I was looking for kinship withing the Caste. I was wrong. The entire foundation of the Caste is very individualistic. We have our own agendas... And embarassingly I found this out. I just wanted to talk to someone... Anyone.

Speaking to Elijah... Made me understand that I have to be patient. He is a good man... He said that most Paladins burn themselves out... When he said this I could feel that I am on this path... I do not with to be so. I will live longer than most of them... and in that time... I have to be smart to survive.

The older I get.. the more powerful I will become... and the more damage I can do.

...

Hadrian.

His conviction is endless... I envy him. I had no idea what I was doing when I called him out. Just the bits and pieces that I had heard about him... I had to speak to him. Something happened with his mother, and that led him to his current position in life. Guarding the king. He may not be looked upon well in the Caste community, but I have an immense respect for him. He would give his life for his cause as I would mine. Briorn would not anwswer when I inquired about Hadrian's mother. I found this disheartening. Extremely. However I trust in Briorn's wisdom, and I will question my god no further about it.

We have both lost our mother, and the result of that is where we ended up today.

When we had our meeting, and we played the game... He spoke. I was shocked to hear him. He did not seem malicious to me, even when informing me that we were considered outlaws in the city for what happened to Xenos. He may serve the king, but I truly believe his heart is not in it. What is a paladin without his heart? It must be horrible for him. I cannot imagine.

Also, his brother, Garth. What happened between the two? Why does he torment Hadrian so? I know it has something to do with their mother...

Enigma tried to forcefully stop me from attending the meeting. I am not sure how I feel about that yet. I shrugged his abilities off easily... but the act was still done. I mean, if the Avatar does not like something we do, he is just going to mentally keep us from doing it? How fair is that? Enigma is my friend... and the son of a god. He just needs to realize that free will is something we are out there to protect. I am no puppet, not for anyone. I do as I choose. I would like to think he was doing this out of concern... I mean going back to Kestram after what happened is not the brightest of ideas. Just as I almost socked him for going after the maakon. It was just something I had to do.

I look forward to our next game... and I will definately study up. Talking to him helps. Hadrian, of all people.

...

Xenos.

Why me? Why was I summoned by him... by name? How do I fit into his plans? What did he put into my head? Veracity insists it is some kind of gift... but of what kind? I knew hardly a thing about this immortal... and yet he knows who I am... and bestow upon me... something. I have so many questions...

...

Why do I feel so empty after the trip to Kestram? I gained perspective... and perhaps more... but I feel as though I am more lost still.

I hate the fact that I only know who I am when I am destroying evil. I only feel right when that fire is burning inside. Only when I hate. It is as if the longer I go without battle... is the more I lose touch with who Chretien Harkness is inside. I have a cause. I have direction. I have a purpose. I will not be off balance anymore. Hadrian shows conviction... and I want to have some of my own.

I must strive to be more than a sword.

Session 12 - Father of Demons

At last we learn of the true nature of this new menace. The orange are the followers of the Father of Demons... The one who was imprisoned before time. The mate of Echinda... which explains a bit.

Father of Demons... Thankfully my abilities lend themselves extra special to their kind. I believe that they are evil... and my faith grants me strength.

Come, then

...

Kidnapping is not my first choice, but I trust in the wisdom of our leaders. I may not agree all the time with them... but they have the ability to look at the big picture. Something I am not that great at, I will admit. Annette Ascende was definately a handful... and her "blessed" guard... It burns me to know that one escaped. In going over the battle in my head as I do a thousand times... I should have acted differently. Stop being so rash, Chretien. Throwing my sword was foolish, and I am glad Esper recovered it. I was wounded in the fight but not severely.

When my stone broke... I wanted them dead even more. But what can a dead paladin do? Nothing. Rage is sometimes intoxicating, I will admit. Nothing feels better than my enemy's life leaving with the tip of my sword. Sometimes, I cannot stop myself... It is just a constant battle between my head and my heart. One that my heart always wins.

Yes, I have a conscience.

In these battles I realized that not everyone we fight is evil... some are selfish. They live for themselves and that only. I may not be as effective against them. The abilities granted by the Caste are for use against evil beings.

Make no mistake. There are two kinds in this world... those evil...and those in my way.

Sometimes it frustrates me... I want to be so much more... I see Dominion and what he has become... and he was of the Arc of Styx. He is so powerful... Styx is so much wiser than I will ever be... but he does not hate the way I do. I feel as though I should be more connected to him, as our paths crossed... Being borne of the Arc.

I have been told one day I too will have power... When will I be worthy?

...

I am thankful to Dominion for fronting the money for my new armor - The soul garb. It was Cassius Kethrona's - The senshall before they became the rulers of Livia. The Harkness line took over the senshall duty after their ascent. Perhaps I can step in to this role someday... This armor... it is black. I am not sure of all of it's functions yet but I know a few. It mirrors the souls of my defeated. It feels right against my body, as if I were meant to be wearing it. I want to look the way I feel inside.

Maybe by looking upon me... These demons can see what I truly am... and can fear me. These demons can know that I am coming for them... I want the name Chretien Harkness to burn upon them hotter than any of the hells. That I will do anything in my power to make them feel pain... My hatred for them will never be pacified until every last one of them is dead.

I will break them first.

Fear me.

Session 11 - War and Hate

Ferver wrote me a letter. In me he asked why I do not fear. Why, in the midst of everything that happened...

Fear is an instinct that I do no pay attention to.

Everyone wants to hold back so much. Never let themselves give into their emotions. I do. For example, Fervor. I knew that he wanted to save Anther, his beloved. I knew it but he kept saying "We must save team 6" to cover that up. We all wanted to save them.

"It's okay, Fervor. It's okay to want to save Anther- go with that feeling" - It is okay to be afraid Fervor. Just harness that and turn it into something else. I could feel it in you... I could feel the hate growing. Fervor - leave this to me, as it is not becoming of you. You are a being of love. You do this because you love Anther, the forty, and the world. You love and protect, where I hate and punish. I do not wish for you to ever feel the way I do.

Why does everyone hold back? Akuma I can understand. The path of Mefundo is perilous, and one can step right over the edge. He has to be precise. Everyone else seems so reserved. Sometimes I can see flashes... Enigma when fighting the kesths, Esper when confronted with the elven king, Chaam confronting the maakon. We all have things deep inside of us that drive us. We just need to know what it is and focus upon it, let it drive us. I do not back.

There is no room for fear when all I feel is hate.

I did not want to see everything we have worked so hard for come crashing to a halt. That is why I almost took a swing at Enigma for going after the maakon. It would have been to no avail... He would have just stopped me, patted me on the head, and went anyway. Looking back, I cannot doubt him for following his heart.

Enigma - Why do you hold back from us? I knew when you collapsed at the temple - that what you saw was important. I had to see it for myself.

Such an old anger I felt. I do not know of this world, much before this age. I do not know of the old gods. What I saw just felt... older still. I am clueless as to who these beings were... But I could feel them.

We will have to see where this leads. Right now what we need is more information. What we need is something to call the enemy.

It is so vague... What we have is a color.

Let me suggest that we call the enemy the "Byooki" - Which is Kainese for "Sickness"

That being said. When we confront the Byooki we should start leaving a mark. I say we mark the walls, everything we destroy... With a symbol of the feather. This would let them know who we are, and who did this to them. It would strike fear into the Byooki -

And let them know -

that we are not afraid.

SESSION 10 - Freedom and slavery.

We freed the purple elves, the Gangrel, from their location in the unexplored lands. The orange were there. The monsters... Their blood so, corrupted, so evil... so tainted that it is worthless to me.

There were humans among them. Humans, who worshipped pagan gods, long dead. Humans who summoned Demons to do their bidding... They were evil... although I feel they joined with the forces of the orange. They had their stink. I wish I could kill them again.

...

The mistlands are calling to me... Finding out where my mother's final battle was has only increased the volume. I have a score to settle there, altough I know not yet who or why. Bastilus, who are you?

...

We have a traitor among us... Enigma is searching already, but my instinct tells me who it is...

Lucid Sheer - She is planning on betraying us all.

How do I know this? Well, let me share.

1. She is a valen, thus having a connection to Dominion Styx.
2. She has a unhealthy obsession with Spero X.
3. There are other things... I have felt... Things without meaning... but there. Senses.
4. There was also Esper's dream, of the Valen funeral - why do I feel this has something to do with her?

Perhaps I could be wrong... Perhaps it is all merely coincidence. There is just something about her. Since we first met, in the cemetary... My mother's grave. The way my eyes couldn't escape her. What was that feeling?

Why does she hide on Halo Day? I have broken things off with Felice. My interest in her... waned.

Lucid has gotten inside of me... I do not know at this point why. Or how. She means something.

Perhaps her halo is for me... How would I feel about that? How would it change me?

Or maybe not. Would I be disappointed? Either way, I have to oblige her. There is some connection between us...

Does infinity have a beginning?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Chretien of the Harkness line. Not the first, and hopefully not the last. A paladin by choice, a slayer of all that is evil. I am a kyth, which most people confuse with "Vampire". Usually mistaken for the "Blessed" - which are nothing more than a disease. They wish to be us, and in their creation they mock our very race. They are weak.

We are the eternal. Where do I begin?

Perhaps with my mother, Vanessa. She was taken from me, by a Carshire, another line of the Kyth. Hallet to be exact... Fortunately for him he is not among the living anymore - no pun I assure you. My thirst for vengeance grows by the day... but I do not know where to spend it. Perhaps time will tell, as I have all the time in the world... However what I have in time, I lack in patience.

...

Do I belong here? I wish not to complain, but my life has always been a battle. The paladin training was testing. Why do people associate what I am with who I am going to become?

After that, in the tournament, I did not help things by slaying a crucifer. I did not show remorse when it happened. It was part shock, and that dark part of me that said to me "He was weak" - My regret grew quickly... I learned that we were all good here, and I didn't have to fight anymore. How could I do such a thing? I did not wish to kill him, but what happened was no accident. Does that make any sense? Trying to prove myself overshadowed my judgement. I didn't know death was possible, and I gave him too much of myself. Do I regret? Yes. I try every day to make up for it... And although I silently know that my actions do save people (Including the 40 at one point) - It will never be good enough. He is dead and I cannot change this. For what it is worth, I am sorry... Regardless, I will always have this shadow over me, no matter how I attempt to forever redeem myself.

I was one of the 40 chosen, trained, and divided to go out, and change the world. I cannot do it alone, and I am part of a team. - I am one of the "Forgers" - To make headway in this world gone wrong. Each of my team has a role. I have different relationships with all of them.

Myself, Chretien Harkness - I know I have power, and I use it. I have a hatred of evil that goes beyond anything I ever learned as a paladin. It is in that dark place within me... Which I dare not look, let alone roam free. I am a murderer. My emotions consume me, and I fight, as I always have... to control them. Is it possible to eradicate evil? I have doubt. The darkness cannot overcome the good in the world, and it shall not overcome me. However, as sure as I am of myself... As powerful as I think I am... or could be... or how I conduct myself... For all of that, regardless of being a Kyth... I feel as though perhaps I am the most fragile inside. Why cannot I not get close to anyone? Why do I feel so alone, even when surrounded by... friends? - I am a servant of my emotion, and the god Briorn. WAR. It is the only thing I know, the only thing I have ever known, maybe the only thing I will ever know. The only thing I am good at. I serve him first, even as he serves me. Of all the gods, he fits... and I hope I will fit someday, somewhere amongst his greatest warriors.

Ferver Fortens - If I am the shadow, then he is the light. He is everything that I am not. Ferver is definately a boyscout, a bookworm. Whereas I would be out burying my sword into whatever I could find, he is burying his head in a book. I guess we just differ on what we feel is more effective. He is a team player... and I am envious of this, as I try to be, and am not. I always tease him about it. I mean, he drinks milk, and I drink blood. In the midst of all the jokes (Anther Broschus being a topic) - I have an immense respect for him, and I feel a kinship with him that I feel with no other. He is the brother I will never have, and the good that I can never acheive. His hands are clean, even as mine will always be tainted with blood. I would give my life for his. He is more compassionate than I will ever be. Did I mention that he is a crucifer? - And our little "Conflicts" in the machine. We are tied, 1 to 1... It is a friendly rivalry, I suppose. He holds the standard... Is our "Leader" - and I should leave it at that, but my ego forbids me to do so. He is one of the only true friends I have - and I shoud value that. I have to keep him at an arms length... For fear of losing the ones closest to me, as I always have.

Enigma Grey/Linnear (Avatar of Xescharde) - He didn't see much at first... To the point where I knew not why he was chosen. An average tyrmydon... Average, perhaps too much. I was the first told that he was the son of a god. He fits the role perfectly... I admire him for not exploiting how powerful he is, and how powerful he knows he will become. He already has the tools... His abilities, the ancestor's core and mask... He earned them... Well, he stole them from Narmsbreath. The eastern elven woman was not pleased... but they are rightfully his. I would give my life for Enigma as well, as I know he is very important in the world's affairs. He is young yet, but wise beyond his years. Like me, he has the capability to live... Well, for a very long time at the least. I have to make sure that happens. I am conflicted so, what can I do to protect him, when he is the son of a god? What do I have to offer when I know he can take care of himself? I have taken upon a role as his protector... And I would never admit this to anyone... but I know he protects us all.

Akuma - Discipline. He walks the path between light and darkness. Mefundo. He walks this path without fear. For this, I can relate. His skill with the sword one day will definately be formidable. Whereas I fight, my approach being to destroy my opponent with raw power... He has more tact. He is grace.

Esper - One of the first Valen. A combined ley elf... I feel as though there is more to him than he has let on. He recently grew in power... in addition to being a Valen, with abilities given from all of the gods themselves. I admire his diversity. He is a magic vampire... He need it to survive, as I need blood.

Iru - If there is a opposite to how I fight, she is it. Where I call out my enemies... Taunt them to me... She hides in the shadows, invisible. While I am actively looking to fight, she waits. My impatience is met by her ablity to wait for the right moment... Just the right moment... to strike.

...


I graduated not to long ago. I was sheltered to the world... and recently shown what has become of it.

So far I what I have seen could bring me to tears, if I would ever let myself show that kind of weakness. The last time I ever cried was over my mother. Ever since then I know that she would want me to be strong. I am not weak, and I will shed no more tears.

Slavery, senseless murder, corruption... EVIL. Why does it not have a name? I can feel it burning within my body. It is out there... Nameless.

Burning... orange.